San Francisco blues and schmooze

Well hello there!

I know it has been a while since my last post however I have been gearing up for the showbiz event of the year. Oh yes,  the hotly anticipated International Trademark Conference no less which this year was held in San Francisco – city of blues, fog, cable cars, Mrs Doubtfire, a big red bridge and A LOT of crazy people still tripping from the copious amount of illegal substances consumed during the 70’s.

THE PLACE

San Francisco hits you straight in the face with a clash of culture from the biggest China town in North America to the smart and sophisticated business district to the slightly sketchy fairly impoverished downtown area. One thing that particularly struck me was the vast array of architecture that seemed to compliment this mixture of influences perfectly.

HIGHLIGHTS

The Westin St Francis is a must to visit; it has been situated right next to Union square since 1904 and is very elegant and beautiful from the inside out.  Make sure you take a ride up exterior glass elevator on the rear tower that delivers a spectacular panoramic view of the city as you rise up the side of the building……not so good if you suffer from vertigo however.

I also went to a party held in the California Academy of Sciences, which was an eventful party not least because I saw two lusty penguins mating furiously……they were at it for over half an hour and had about 100 people watching them – saucy! In all seriousness though the Academy is well worth a visit as it boasts an aquarium, a planetarium, a natural history museum and a four-storey rainforest all under one roof! The party was a hoot, I sipped my vodka tonic dancing to Lady Gaga and leant about how snakes track their prey while being entertained by half naked fawns on stilts, what more could you want.

Obviously there is also the classic Tram ride, Alcatraz (whilst pretending you’re Sean Connery in the Rock) and the Golden Gate Bridge which are worth seeing. Other things that I wanted to do but didn’t have time were visit the Beat Poet Museum and mosey round China town; apparently they have dumplings that rival Hong Kong!

THE ACCOMODATION

We stayed in this rather nice boutique hotel called Union Square hotel which is pretty perfectly located right in the heart of the city. The rooms were well designed, staff were super friendly and they even served complimentary wine in the lobby from 5-7pm – nice! My only complaint would be the amount of noise during the night however I think this is pretty common across the city, like Michael Jackson’s Thriller it seems the real crazies, hookers and pimps wait till dusk to come alive!

THE FOOD

The best thing about attending Law Firm receptions is the canapés ……..mmmm drool. I don’t know what it is about a canapé that is so utterly resistible however I seem to not be able to turn down one that I haven’t tried before even if I have already consumed my own body weight in these delicious compact servings of heaven. Smoked salmon  blini’s, rock oysters, mini burgers, strips of chicken with figs and mushrooms and mouth watering crab cakes complimented by a glass of champagne certainly amused my bouche no end.

Two restaurants that I would highly recommend while you are in the city are Louis Diner (Powell Street) and Waterbar (on the waterfront). Louis Diner is the epitome of your typical All American diner complete with life size horse and cow hanging from the ceiling and half a Cadillac attached to the wall that could have been part of the set of Back to the future. Portions are big and there is nothing healthy on the menu but it is predictably delicious. To my mind no one does breakfast better than the Yanks and they certainly didn’t disappoint here, feast on amazing pancakes, streaky bacon, homemade hash browns and eggs ‘sunny side’ up!

Waterbar is a slightly classier joint located on the Embacadero and has a great view of both the Bay and SFO Skyline as well as huge floor to ceiling circular aquariums filled with yummy fish. The food was fantastic if a little pricey. Be sure to check out the Oyster Menu which is what I opted for as an Entrée…..we childishly had a chuckle at the oyster named fanny bay but it turned out to be rather delicious. For my main course I had Salmon with black eyed peas, spring onions, broccoli rabe and a cornmeal fried oyster – delicious. I didn’t have room for dessert however one of my colleagues went for the ice cream cookie sandwich, only in America could this be considered appropriate in a fancy restaurant. And why not, I suffered from food envy for the rest of the meal.

THE NIGHTLIFE

As I mentioned SFO comes alive at night and there are plenty of cool bars and clubs to sample. Particular highlights were a sultry bar blues venue called the BOOM BOOM ROOM in the Fillmore district made famous most notably by John Lee Hooker who to this day still posthumously has a table reserved for him next to the stage. This smoky bar is small and intimate and attracts some of SF’s best musical talent playing a mixture of rock, soul, blues and jazz as well as a plethora of different kinds of people. They also have a beer called Dead Man Rogue on tap. Awesome.

I also took a quick trip to a very cool bar called the Bourbon and Branch on Jones Street which channels the current Boardwalk Empire phenomenon as a 1920’s themed bar. The venue is even a former speakeasy and hosts an extremely wide variety of whisky and bourbon, a password is needed for entry which can be found on their website. The book lined library bar certainly adds to the feel of the place however don’t come here if in a large group or looking to get a quick drink. This is a place that demands you take your time.

Embarrassingly I also ended up in a cheesy RnB/Dance club called the infusion lounge on Ellis Street complete with slutty go go dancers and sweaty dance floor. There’s not much room to strut your stuff but the DJ was great playing  a mixture of old and new – he even pumped out the soundtrack to ‘Fresh Prince’ to which everyone joined in…’yo, homes smell you later’ Jazzy fresh!

TIPS

1.       Despite being in the state of California SFO is remarkably chilly. Take a jumper, coat and scarf. Even if it looks sunny, the sun will only be playing tricks on you.

2.       If you are a lady always carry some flats in your bag when trying to get around the city as there are very few cabs to be had, especially in the rain.

3.       Be prepared for lots of tramps and crazy people talking to themselves, they seem to be on every street corner. Most are fairly harmless but we did get the odd aggressive one so watch out.  

4.       A great film set in San Francisco is called ‘What’s Up Doc’ http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0069495/ probably one of the funniest films ever made with an awesome car chase at the end that showcases the cities hills and character perfectly.

Curiously I liked San Francisco but I didn’t fall in love with it as I had expected. The city seems to contradict itself over and over again that once I thought I had got the feel of it I found something new, or was confronted with something I didn’t expect. Its energy and vivacity is juxtaposed with an eerie sadness that did leave me a little cold, Muddy Waters and Johnny Winter sum it up well http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pFqB4ly4-64.  It’s a city I think that demands time to be loved and understood properly, something I am certainly ready to give again. And so I bid you farewell as the American’s say ‘Have a nice day’ or in San Francisco, (this is a direct quote from one of the tramps) ‘Watch out for the communist squirrels, they’re gonna take over the world’. Quite.

V xx

Shenzhen Spa's and Shopping

Ni hao all!

I very recently had a friend to stay with me in Hong Kong and in addition to doing all things Hong Kong touristas we also decided to head over the border into China for a bit of pampering and retail therapy (ahem! not sure about the therapy part) in neighboring city Shenzhen. 

THE PLACE

For those of you that know little of Shenzhen let me (and the gremlins of Wikipedia) take this moment to enlighten you! Shenzer as I like to call it is situated immediately north of Hong Kong and has gone from being a small fishing village called Baoan County in the 1970’s to being one of the fastest growing cities in the world. On entering Shenzer you get this sense of how quickly the city has grown and it is immediately clear that you are in a place where things happen fast. Be prepared for lots of people, intense pollution and being hassled frequently ‘missy missy what you buy handbag watches? ‘missy missy you like shopping’ uhhhh duh does Dolly Parton sleep on her back? There is a real sense of chaos on arrival however and although you’ll most likely be fine you would do well to keep your wits about you at all times.

HOW TO GET THERE

If travelling from Hong Kong we found, after a little bit of researching that the best way to get to Shenzer is via the wonderful Hong Kong MTR. You can take the light blue line (no idea what it is called) from Hung Hom through to Lo Wu and takes about 45 mins. If you haven’t already got your visa you will then have to walk up some stairs, fill out a form, pay about 400RMB, collect your visa and be on your merry way. Job’s a good ‘un.

THE SPA

Queens Spa is the wall mart of spa's - a 5 floor pampering extravaganza that offers everything from massages to karaoke rooms to electrolysis on your hairy bits. Ouch! The entrance fee is RMB 108 although if you spend more that RMB 168 then this fee gets waivered – boom ting! Most of the staff doesn’t speak Ingrish however there is always an English speaking duty manager on hand if you just ask who are friendly and helpful. On arrival you are handed a rather fetching pair of pink pajama’s and a wrist tag that lets you add your bill to your ‘number’. In Queens Spa everything is a number – I was a number, my masseuse was a number, the treatment I had, my food, literlly everything and this combined with the pajama suit gave me an impression of what it must be like to go into prison!

However, prison it was not….we started off with a lovely ramen supper followed by a good aromatherapy massage. We then moved to the lazyboy chairs in the ‘rest room’ of which there are probably about 400 or so each equipped with their very own massage function and TV. Whilst watching TV I then got my feet scrapped by a man who used a knife (yes a knife!!) to scrape all the dead skin off my feet (ewwwww) and then finish off with a foot massage. Lovely jubbly. Here is a picture of those lazyboys....

The spa also boasts free unlimited fruits, juices and ice cream and even free sleeping quarter which we took rather than pay for a separate hotel. Dorm rooms are separate for men and women and consist of little pods with a pillow and duvet included. As you are sharing a dorm room with others at the spa it’s not super quiet however by the time we arrived we were all massaged out and slept soundly. It’s not luxury but if you are keen to save a few bob then worth doing.

The following morning we had a few more treatments, a cheeky swim, steam and sauna before reluctantly handing back our stripy pajama’s paying our bill and heading back to reality…….

THE SHOPPING

The main attraction for Shenzer is fakes, particularly handbags. Now if you are mere pauper like me in the splendorous luxuriousness of Hong Kong then getting your mitts on a fulberry (fake mulberry) is a bit of a must! If you are a visitor, definitely worth a trip as no one at home will know the difference and therefore think it is real and earn you real fashionista brownie points and jealous shocked looks of wonderment from your friends. Boom.

Head to the Lowu commercial centre pictured above and have a good search around before you wait for your bartering battle to commence…..we took the following tactical approach. As there were 4 of us we scoped out a few shops before deciding which one looked to have the best quality fake goods…and yes I am aware of the irony of this statement. We then went about requesting which handbags we wanted to look at, which takes a while but is a good thing because the shopkeepers get very excited that they are about to make a killing (we were however very careful NOT to mention which ones we were DEFINITELY going to buy)

To add to this role play of bargaining and selling there is also the added complication of undercover police walking about so often the shop owners will take the bags they are about to sell and go and hide them, useful when one is trying to decide between a brown or grey miu miu grrrr…anyway I had my heart set on trying to find a Celine, I needed to pick up a fulberry and a chanel and my visiting friend got very carried away and was considering 6 handbags! Boys, I know you will never understand this logic.

Then came the bargaining. Our shop keeper was quite whiny and was working the ‘my boss wont let me’ ‘I won’t make profit’ lines but we were no fools and like firm business women with black 80’s shoulder padded suits and bold red lipstick we stood our ground. The deal clincher which happened (admittedly by accident but worked a charm) was that another friend of ours had gone to buy a different bag in another shop she then returned to the shop we were still bargaining in and loudly said how much she had paid for her bag, we all got excited and began to follow her out when lo and behold…..our shopkeeper buckled to the prices we had requested. Hooray! I felt like I was in an episode of the apprentice…..Sir Alan, you would have been proud. And to boot I skipped to Hong Kong immigration with my Celine and my friend with her 6 bags.

TIPS

1.       Get your RMB to pay for your visa at the Central HSBC Building in Hong Kong where they have an ATM that will give you Chinese moulah this makes your visa process (if you don’t already have one) swift and easy

2.       Try and go on a weekday, I went on a Sunday once and it was quite simply a hell on earth….…

3.       If you wish to travel anywhere in a taxi and don’t speak Mandarin then try and get the directions/location written down in Chinese – will reduce the amount of gesticulating the movements of a massage which could look dodgy and get you into a bit of trouble. Never a good move.

Only having 24 hours in Shenzer was a real shame as I know I only scratched the surface of what this city has to offer, there are also other attractions including a theme park and sea world and I'm told there is even grass somewhere. It is however to my mind a place that you do need to mentally and physically prepare yourself for and not the idyllic luxury girlie day out that one would hope for or expect in HK, London or NY. Shenzer really is a place that you don’t want to be very long but the price what you come back with makes it worthwhile, Mulberry’s, soft feet, a new appreciation for personal space etc….therefore my best advice - Get in, get your shit done, get out!

V xx